Top Five: Christmas Films

24 12 2009

The return of the lists! We start off with a simple suggestion from Michelle.

1. Die Hard

John McClane was just trying to spend time with his estranged family at Christmas. He succeeded… by blowing a lot of shit up. Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, guns, terrorists, a skyscraper, Germans, Twinkies, a twatty journalist, and a giant teddy-bear, what could be more festive than that?! Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful!

2. Die Hard 2: Die Harder

John McClane just wanted to spend time with his non-estranged family at Christmas… again. He succeeded… by blowing a lot of shit up… again. Just don’t get in the way of this man, he likes Christmas a lot. Bruce Willis, guns, terrorists, an airport, planes, snowmobiles, a failed dictator (mentioning dictators, an upcoming list is all about them), turncoat special forces, a twatty journalist, and a taser, what could be more Christmassy than that?!

3. Home Alone

Child neglect is usually not a funny business, but in this case it is (it isn’t in Home Alone 3). A child left alone at Christmas, his house is under attack by inept burglars, what is little Kevin to do? Booby-trap the place of course. I’ve loved this film since I was a child, it’s awesome. Kevin is eventually reunited with his useless parents, who – judging by the number of their children – haven’t heard of contraception, the sequel indicates that they weren’t reported to child services.

4. The Muppet Christmas Carol

I love The Muppets, I was brought up on Sesame Street and repeats of The Muppet Show, so when I was taken to the cinema to see this as a kid, I was made up. I watched it again on Sunday, and it’s still amazing. A perfect cast including; Michael Caine as Scrooge, Kermit as Bob Cratchit, Gonzo as Charles Dickens, and Rizzo as, er, Rizzo. Particular memorable moments are Sam the Eagle having to be corrected due to his American patriotism, and Beaker giving Scrooge his first ever Christmas present. Released in 1992, this was the first Muppet film released after Jim Henson’s death in 1990, so was dedicated to him and former Muppet puppeteer Richard Hunt who died of an AIDS-related illness in early 1992.

5. Rocky IV

Rocky Balboa defeats Ivan Drago on Christmas day, therefore avenging the death of Apollo Creed (I’m still upset about that) and ending the Cold War. What could be more Christmassy than that?!




5 responses

24 12 2009

I’ve never seen Die Hard.

25 12 2009

That’s something you need to sort out, and it’s on ITV2 all the time.

13 01 2010

What, no Gremlins?!

13 01 2010

Nope, I’m just not a fan.

13 01 2010

You missed out Scrooged as well. That, Gremlins and Die Hard are the holy trinity of alt. Christmas flicks.

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