Top Five: Worst UK Eurovision Entries

14 08 2009

Here we have the last of my Eurovision troika; the five worst entries sent by the UK. Between 1957 and 1998, the UK finished outside the top 10 only twice, since the UK has only finished inside the top 10 twice, and that’s why the majority of these songs are recent entries. Not the first one though…

1. Cliff Richard – Power to All Our Friends

In 1968, Richard lost by a point in an allegedly rigged vote, in 1973 he came back and lost again. This entry came third, despite featuring the laziest rhyming I’ve ever heard, a bewildering set of dance moves, and a faux-Bee Gee on backing vocals. Really I’ve put it in at number one because I just hate Cliff Richard, but it’s my list, so I can.

2. Jemini – Cry Baby

Couldn’t sing, couldn’t dance, couldn’t spell Gemini, couldn’t score a single point. The only UK entry to have ever score the dreaded “nul points” and in 2003 with a record field of 26 participants, making it all the worse. Just so bad.

3. Daz Sampson – Teenage Life

A 32 year old man rapping about teenage life just seems patronising, added to that you have the most irritating backing vocals from some St Trinian’s rejects, and it all just seems surreal and creepy. Inexplicably making it to number 8 in the UK charts, it didn’t favour so well in Athens in 2006, coming 19th out of 24 entries, amassing 25 points, whilst winners Lordi managed to collect 292.

4. Scooch – Flying the Flag

So to follow up Daz Sampson, the 2007 entry was appalling for fairly similar reasons to Jemini. Poor singing and dancing combined with pathetic sexual innuendo left the voters distinctly nonplussed, and Scooch tied with France… in 22nd place… out of 24. Even for Eurovision, this entry was just too camp.

5. Nicki French – Don’t Play That Song Again

With pleasure. The whole performance feels like it should be on a very low rate cruise ship. When this was performed in 2000, French was 35, I have a feeling life must have been hard on her before then. Although this song does restore a little bit of my faith in the UK record-buying public, they hated it as much as the Eurovision voters, it only made it to number 34 in the UK singles chart, and 16th on the night.




One response

15 08 2009

I found that Daz Sampson record really, REALLY creepy. Some geezer in his 30s with faux-Trinians in tiny skirts gyrating on desks around him. Can anyone say psuedo-peado?

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