Top Five: Worst Eurovision Entries

7 08 2009

Last week we had the best, now we have the worst. However you will see no UK entries on this list, not because they don’t deserve to be on this list, simply because they deserve a list of their own, so that’ll appear next Friday. Now because I need to whittle it down to five, the song has to have appeared in the final, so Dustin the Turkey gets a reprieve, he’s lucky.

1. Les Humphries Singers – Sing Sang Song

Miraculously winning 12 points and coming 15th out of 18 in 1976, this German entry mainly consists of four ugly men and two women repeating the title for three minutes (skip 1min into the video for the start of the song). Every now and again there is a plea for global unity and how it can be achieved; by singing Sing Sang Song. I suppose that would work, we’d unite to hunt down Les Humphries Singers.

2. Mariella Farré & Pino Gasparini – Piano Piano

Again, skip about a minute (unless you’re interested in a poorly acted scene in the Hasselblad factory) and you’ll find the 1985 Swiss entry, a song composed by an American, sung in German by a Swiss-Italian moustache and a Swiss-French perm. If that hasn’t put you off, please bear in mind that the song is horribly performed, and even though I have no idea what the song is about, I know you don’t hear a piano at all.

3. Christina Simon – Heute in Jerusalem

It’s beginning to look like I hate the German language, I don’t, I just hate crap songs. This was Austria’s 1979 entry for the contest held in Jerusalem, and they decided to perform a song about bringing peace to Jerusalem. It did not go down well with the Israelis, or anybody in fact, finishing equal last with five points, receiving four from Italy and one from the UK. Lesson to learn, don’t enter a ballad about a politically sensitive issue, in the location of said issue, and if you do, don’t bring jazz club and a bird’s nest to perform it.

4. XXL – 100% te ljubam

For 2000 FYR Macedonia sent this ditty. The title means “I love you 100%”, catchy, and they actually recorded an English version too, but mispronounce “hundred” as “hun-derd”. Now with an awful song and dance-routine, both of which are performed terribly, you’d be forgiven for thinking this came last… it didn’t, it actually finished 15th out of 24. I was tempted to place this number one on the list, but due to the fact it outperformed the UK’s entry (Nicki French with “Don’t Play that Song Again”, fine Nicki, I won’t), it only makes it number four. Still awful though.

5. Burak Aydos – Esmir Yarim

Aydos performed and wrote this track with which he represented Turkey in 1993. Now it may just be me, but it sounds suspiciously like a certain song performed solo by a member of Wham!… but crap. The song title translates as “My Darling Brunette” which isn’t exactly the most inspiring title, and the performance is certainly less than inspired, it just looks like a failed business man has got drunk and gone out to do some karaoke. Not related to the performance, I do like the fact that the 1993 contest was held at the Green Glens Arena in Millstreet, Ireland. Now, Green Glens has a capacity of 8000 people, Millstreet only has a population of 1500.

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2 responses

7 08 2009
miezhka

Again, I can’t wait to get home and watch these!

7 08 2009
tsaritsyn

I personally think this list is better than last week’s.

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